i dint make it thru the first round, my heart sank when i saw the email.
for a few brief moments, i wanna curl up on my couch n lie there.
i started praying, actually i didnt know what i wanna pray abt, but i remembered asking for divine help as i have pinned all my hopes on M in getting outta this place.
then i tot of something that humbled me: it must be god's will thats done, not mine. i shouldnt be getting upset n feeling crestfallen. then i tot of the job scope and things which i felt i wouldnt like doing on a long term basis, then slowly the negativity faded away.
now im much beta, cos i be applying for NUS next. lolx.
never surrender, never give up, never retreat.
lastly: never lose hope.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Thursday, June 26, 2008
after your morning prayers, it started raining pizzas at 7pm
it went ok! thank u Lord. thank u for hearing my repeated prayers, but i do know it must be yr Will thats done, not mine.
i have expected to be grilled left right center, must be divine help cos i dint get asked tough questions or get my resume ripped to shreds (u know how some interviewers love to zoom in right down to the small minute details) but still that may be as its still the first round.
past few days of reading the papers have aided tremendously and zero intake of heaty crap makes my spotty face less spotty n pink.
2 ladies firing questions while the carrie lookalike HR gal was busy scribbling notes. now my silly mind is still replaying the whole process; what questions i could have answered better, yea i know;the pursuing a MPA part.
as 4 the 2nd and last final hurdle, HR said she would get back to me within 1-2 wks (if i clear) so im keeping my fingers crossed.
then she asked wht i wanna have a cuppa coffee sometime soon, so we r meeting this wk end.
no la of cos! but really if someone says she is carrie's twin separated at birth i would believe without any doubt.
emman, u should be there, lolx. the resemblance is unbelievable.
trying not to psyche myself up too much n too high, the fall will be extremely excruciating. im expecting pop and biggy sis to call me anytime soon asking how things go.
back to my tv n marks and spencer chips, i been waiting to eat that!
p/s- hello annie!
i have expected to be grilled left right center, must be divine help cos i dint get asked tough questions or get my resume ripped to shreds (u know how some interviewers love to zoom in right down to the small minute details) but still that may be as its still the first round.
past few days of reading the papers have aided tremendously and zero intake of heaty crap makes my spotty face less spotty n pink.
2 ladies firing questions while the carrie lookalike HR gal was busy scribbling notes. now my silly mind is still replaying the whole process; what questions i could have answered better, yea i know;the pursuing a MPA part.
as 4 the 2nd and last final hurdle, HR said she would get back to me within 1-2 wks (if i clear) so im keeping my fingers crossed.
then she asked wht i wanna have a cuppa coffee sometime soon, so we r meeting this wk end.
no la of cos! but really if someone says she is carrie's twin separated at birth i would believe without any doubt.
emman, u should be there, lolx. the resemblance is unbelievable.
trying not to psyche myself up too much n too high, the fall will be extremely excruciating. im expecting pop and biggy sis to call me anytime soon asking how things go.
back to my tv n marks and spencer chips, i been waiting to eat that!
p/s- hello annie!
Monday, June 23, 2008
Day 1? *woo hoo*
i cleared Day1 of the NEC (finally! after the 5-6th attempt), now going into the 2nd day. i thank God that i was to resist the tempations and held back my tongue on numerous occassions. i am also grateful that things in office were generally ok w/o my boss despite a few minor mess ups.
my pop n ma seemed more excited than i after i told them abt the first session on thursday, pops kept reminding me not to say nasty stuff abt the 'garmen' and dress smartly and combed my hair and put on a tie and reach on time etc etc....
i changed it to thurs 2pm as there was a project scheduled that day and i need to handover some things to my boss after she returns tomorrow.
n now the project is postponed til fri, whatever.
my pop n ma seemed more excited than i after i told them abt the first session on thursday, pops kept reminding me not to say nasty stuff abt the 'garmen' and dress smartly and combed my hair and put on a tie and reach on time etc etc....
i changed it to thurs 2pm as there was a project scheduled that day and i need to handover some things to my boss after she returns tomorrow.
n now the project is postponed til fri, whatever.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
sometimes, the solution is worse than the problem
dealing with people is probably the hardest component of my work; simply put, my main job scope consists of deployment (begging assholes to do other assholes' jobs) which initally, if u do not know the interviewers well, could be very very difficult as the mutual trust is not there.
trust is a tricky double edged sword. too lil trust, no one wants to work for u. too much trust, they start whining and bitching abt other interviewers and expect u to speak up for them when projects r hard/payment is low/person is charge has bullied them.
the latter just happened 5 mins ago;interviewer was whining abt her quotas, i was telling her politely that she should go to the project exe in charge instead, still she droned on for another 20 mins (this must be how hell feels like) i was ready to hit my head with some blunt object.
having survived one yr there (which has caused me to age considerably) i observe that managing ppl is a needful skill that one, as he/she moves up in their careers, inevitably has to master.
how to be firm yet non threatening?
how to be friendly yet without being viewed as a bloody doormat?
im glad no one has ever slammed in the phone when i called or address me as jackass, i am able to convince n relate to my 'sheep' despite having a few wolves in the midst. the other day, 2 interviewers bought me lunch at an indian restaurant 4 my bday and another ordered pizzas but unfortunately i was still on leave and the 3 pizzas were quickly eaten by the evil ungrateful colleagues.
darn it.
trust is a tricky double edged sword. too lil trust, no one wants to work for u. too much trust, they start whining and bitching abt other interviewers and expect u to speak up for them when projects r hard/payment is low/person is charge has bullied them.
the latter just happened 5 mins ago;interviewer was whining abt her quotas, i was telling her politely that she should go to the project exe in charge instead, still she droned on for another 20 mins (this must be how hell feels like) i was ready to hit my head with some blunt object.
having survived one yr there (which has caused me to age considerably) i observe that managing ppl is a needful skill that one, as he/she moves up in their careers, inevitably has to master.
how to be firm yet non threatening?
how to be friendly yet without being viewed as a bloody doormat?
im glad no one has ever slammed in the phone when i called or address me as jackass, i am able to convince n relate to my 'sheep' despite having a few wolves in the midst. the other day, 2 interviewers bought me lunch at an indian restaurant 4 my bday and another ordered pizzas but unfortunately i was still on leave and the 3 pizzas were quickly eaten by the evil ungrateful colleagues.
darn it.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
cheyenne
had lunch with my ex bf yest, our relationship is truly strangely bizzarre. one minute i told him to forget me while recommending my services as the maid of honor, the other minute we are paddling each other's pops.
lolx.
i interrogated him the same things i asked jan last fri, why are the 2 of u so secretive and always speaking in riddles?
jan, if u r reading this, things have always been up if u get my drift. of cos u wil, u n yr filthy mind.
lolx.
i interrogated him the same things i asked jan last fri, why are the 2 of u so secretive and always speaking in riddles?
jan, if u r reading this, things have always been up if u get my drift. of cos u wil, u n yr filthy mind.
viva la vida
im at work now, on a sleepy lazy rainy sunday afternoon till 8pm. its gross, this duty system which everybody has to perform a wk end duty almost every month. its already my 2nd wk end burnt, had to go to a job fair at hougang the first sat. it rained that day too but at least i could ppl watch n talk rot with my colleague Y who is prob of the most vulgar guys i ever known.
his world is filled with copulating inanimate objects and ppl screwing themselves. he has a strong dislike for code 2 & 3 ppl which i guess folks in MR will know who im referring to.
if i were to leave one day (i hope i wont have to wait v long ), i will greatly miss him a lot cos he is completely w/o pretences and honest abt ppl here. this is a rare trait i seldom see in ppl nowadays. n he is well read in current news and that makes it easy to discuss abt everyday events.
saw from facebook that edmund is starting a new job tomorrow, great news. im glad he managed to find something so quick in a matter of wks after going to perth.
i came across a picture we took when we travelled down to busselton jetty in 2000, he was crazy abt fishing along with tong n gab and i was so bored that i read a book n chewed on a mars bar when waiting for them. i strolled up and down the jetty a few times but then got bored.
if i rem correctly, they did caught some fish but what i recalled clearly was the cold freezy wind blowing in my face and how silly i must had appeared, trying to press the pages down tightly. one of these days i will scan the pics and put them up.
i last went back in 04 and stayed with becky at cannington, now the kiddo has moved eastward and though the 10 day trip was fun, it felt different when i dropped to zph (ex church) cos many of the ppl were no longer there anymore and the newbies looked absolutely ridiculous, whatever they were wearing.
come mon, its a church. we r not in tokyo.
in my head are thousands of mental pictures and events that r still so crystal clear and stuck longer than the stuff i learnt from the professors.
ah perth... best and bittersweetest 3 yrs of my life.
his world is filled with copulating inanimate objects and ppl screwing themselves. he has a strong dislike for code 2 & 3 ppl which i guess folks in MR will know who im referring to.
if i were to leave one day (i hope i wont have to wait v long ), i will greatly miss him a lot cos he is completely w/o pretences and honest abt ppl here. this is a rare trait i seldom see in ppl nowadays. n he is well read in current news and that makes it easy to discuss abt everyday events.
saw from facebook that edmund is starting a new job tomorrow, great news. im glad he managed to find something so quick in a matter of wks after going to perth.
i came across a picture we took when we travelled down to busselton jetty in 2000, he was crazy abt fishing along with tong n gab and i was so bored that i read a book n chewed on a mars bar when waiting for them. i strolled up and down the jetty a few times but then got bored.
if i rem correctly, they did caught some fish but what i recalled clearly was the cold freezy wind blowing in my face and how silly i must had appeared, trying to press the pages down tightly. one of these days i will scan the pics and put them up.
i last went back in 04 and stayed with becky at cannington, now the kiddo has moved eastward and though the 10 day trip was fun, it felt different when i dropped to zph (ex church) cos many of the ppl were no longer there anymore and the newbies looked absolutely ridiculous, whatever they were wearing.
come mon, its a church. we r not in tokyo.
in my head are thousands of mental pictures and events that r still so crystal clear and stuck longer than the stuff i learnt from the professors.
ah perth... best and bittersweetest 3 yrs of my life.
Friday, June 20, 2008
when i used to have the world
but most of the time i wish i have never met u, so that i never have to swallow this bottle and watch u walk away.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
call it divine intervention, call it supernatural power
till now im still slapping myself every 5 mins to make sure im not in a dreamstate, yoo hoo i got called up 4 the first intw on wednesday!
my colleagues kept asking why im smiling non stop, they tot its cos my boss is on leave.
considering that i have never been called up for an interview b4 (despite having applied there a few times in back 2003-2005) and also not forgetting the horrid brain-frying apt test which i sat for that almost shortened 2 yrs of my life, i cant fathom how i got shortlisted for the first round.
my handwriting was crap (looked like drunken ants that fell into a ink pot and started scurrying ard on paper), and i wasnt sure wht i have drawn and analysed my diagrams accurately. on top of that, my grades in school arent good and i know im not smart.
when the unexpected call came, i held my breath n squeaked meekly. when the lady uttered the magic words 'u have been shortlisted' i nearly jumped outta my seat n i cant stop thanking her.
how the heck did i get in?
not by luck, thats for sure. i dun believe in luck or coincidence.
its the big guy J who has heard my prayers n shown his kindess and blessings. its still a long way to go: 2 rounds of intwerviews but its a great wonderful start. almost unbelievable.
im immensely grateful for that and yr (yes, u!) prayers.
happy like bird!
my colleagues kept asking why im smiling non stop, they tot its cos my boss is on leave.
considering that i have never been called up for an interview b4 (despite having applied there a few times in back 2003-2005) and also not forgetting the horrid brain-frying apt test which i sat for that almost shortened 2 yrs of my life, i cant fathom how i got shortlisted for the first round.
my handwriting was crap (looked like drunken ants that fell into a ink pot and started scurrying ard on paper), and i wasnt sure wht i have drawn and analysed my diagrams accurately. on top of that, my grades in school arent good and i know im not smart.
when the unexpected call came, i held my breath n squeaked meekly. when the lady uttered the magic words 'u have been shortlisted' i nearly jumped outta my seat n i cant stop thanking her.
how the heck did i get in?
not by luck, thats for sure. i dun believe in luck or coincidence.
its the big guy J who has heard my prayers n shown his kindess and blessings. its still a long way to go: 2 rounds of intwerviews but its a great wonderful start. almost unbelievable.
im immensely grateful for that and yr (yes, u!) prayers.
happy like bird!
elise
the ERP gantries will cost $1 or $2 more from july 7th onwards, in view of the skyrocketing fuel costs which the poorer ppl are struggling to cope with, i tot this annoucement came at a v bad timing. wat indeed was the MOT thinking?
a 5 kg pack of rice used to cost less than $8-9, now its almost $13. is it any wonder i always feel hungry so quickly aft lunch? why? cos the darn bowl of rice that comes in my chicken/duck rice in most hawker centres/coffee shops is only 3/4 filled.
wth!
if one drives to CBD twice (in n out daily) and each gantry cost $1 more, that is at least $40 more per month of top of the driver's current ERP cost. we r not including the petrol prices which, do u notice, the oil companies are ever so eager to raise up but when cost of oil slides, i dun see the any price adjustment. note: one barrel of oil now hovers around $120 USD. last yr it was about $75 in june.
what would be the projection price for next yr? u go figure. i dun wanna think abt it.
i dun own a car, though i sometimes borrow my dad's car n drive to ntuc pretending im james bond.
& initially i tot i would maybe get a vehicle after my income reaches $xxx amount but now, the piece of glossy metal seems more of a liability than an asset.
a 5 kg pack of rice used to cost less than $8-9, now its almost $13. is it any wonder i always feel hungry so quickly aft lunch? why? cos the darn bowl of rice that comes in my chicken/duck rice in most hawker centres/coffee shops is only 3/4 filled.
wth!
if one drives to CBD twice (in n out daily) and each gantry cost $1 more, that is at least $40 more per month of top of the driver's current ERP cost. we r not including the petrol prices which, do u notice, the oil companies are ever so eager to raise up but when cost of oil slides, i dun see the any price adjustment. note: one barrel of oil now hovers around $120 USD. last yr it was about $75 in june.
what would be the projection price for next yr? u go figure. i dun wanna think abt it.
i dun own a car, though i sometimes borrow my dad's car n drive to ntuc pretending im james bond.
& initially i tot i would maybe get a vehicle after my income reaches $xxx amount but now, the piece of glossy metal seems more of a liability than an asset.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
eleanor
i gotta restart NEC: something nasty slipped outta my mouth (wtf!) when the AM threw a last min curve ball at me, thankfully the issue is resolved relatively quickly but hey, im the only one holding the fort these few days and this kind of emergency gimmick is not welcome.
tomorrow is a brand new start
tomorrow is a brand new start
chelsa
Day 1 - 19/06/08
the clock begins ticking now: no swearing, no naughty words involving fornication
it sounded relatively easy on theory yest, but putting words into actions is not mean feat, esp after i reached office and work starts creeping up.
i better speak less today 4 my own good.
p/s- hawaiian pizzas and e=mc2 shall keep me motivated
the clock begins ticking now: no swearing, no naughty words involving fornication
it sounded relatively easy on theory yest, but putting words into actions is not mean feat, esp after i reached office and work starts creeping up.
i better speak less today 4 my own good.
p/s- hawaiian pizzas and e=mc2 shall keep me motivated
i'll ignite 4 u
one of my all time comfort songs- yellow card's light up the sky acoustic
if u have good musical taste (like me!) u may enjoy it too :P
if u have good musical taste (like me!) u may enjoy it too :P
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
R.T
like the most of the unfit singaporean men i know, i had been attending rt which has thankfully ended on 10th june. by right it should end on 12th which is absolutely dreadful, i was praying v hard that the last lesson ie test would be cancelled. and God heard and granted my wish. yay!
anyway, in the 1st phase of rt one has to attend training twice, one wk day and wk end.
after the 1st month, u will take the test:upon failing u be classified as the 'condemned' and thus proceed to phase 2 which consists of 3 training sessions weekly. 2 wk days and 1 wk end. at this pt, the PTI (physical training instructor) also kinda gave up hope on u cos the chances of u clearing the final test is almost nil.
how many passed in the phase 1 test? from my observation: less than 15%.
actually i quite enjoy the wk day training sessions cos i get to leave work early at 5pm, heh heh heh.
the sunday mornings are the hardest, waking at 7am for the 8am session was tough. by the time i reached home im too exhausted to go church,
i suck at running, but i excel at pull ups and sit ups but it is still useless cos just like failing English at ur O Levels, once u flunk running, u flunk the whole damn test.
so this time round i took my training seriously, i ran and tried not to walk unless im really outta breath and the heart was abt to give way.
my last timing was 13.28. i fell short of 28 seconds to pass. darn it. the rest of the stations i cleared w/o any problems.
there is something v different from this yr's RT compared to previous yrs; i really tried, i ran till my ears were flapping, so even though i failed, i can tell myself i dint quit n i did the best i could.
not unsurprisingly: i also lost abt 4 kg, which means i can now wear my current pair of pants which i have not worn since early 2007.
ke ke ke.
i feel pretty, i feel pretty....la di da
anyway, in the 1st phase of rt one has to attend training twice, one wk day and wk end.
after the 1st month, u will take the test:upon failing u be classified as the 'condemned' and thus proceed to phase 2 which consists of 3 training sessions weekly. 2 wk days and 1 wk end. at this pt, the PTI (physical training instructor) also kinda gave up hope on u cos the chances of u clearing the final test is almost nil.
how many passed in the phase 1 test? from my observation: less than 15%.
actually i quite enjoy the wk day training sessions cos i get to leave work early at 5pm, heh heh heh.
the sunday mornings are the hardest, waking at 7am for the 8am session was tough. by the time i reached home im too exhausted to go church,
i suck at running, but i excel at pull ups and sit ups but it is still useless cos just like failing English at ur O Levels, once u flunk running, u flunk the whole damn test.
so this time round i took my training seriously, i ran and tried not to walk unless im really outta breath and the heart was abt to give way.
my last timing was 13.28. i fell short of 28 seconds to pass. darn it. the rest of the stations i cleared w/o any problems.
there is something v different from this yr's RT compared to previous yrs; i really tried, i ran till my ears were flapping, so even though i failed, i can tell myself i dint quit n i did the best i could.
not unsurprisingly: i also lost abt 4 kg, which means i can now wear my current pair of pants which i have not worn since early 2007.
ke ke ke.
i feel pretty, i feel pretty....la di da
shine
met Jen my ex housemate for dinner, a belated bday celebration. Kel n Mich couldnt come but i was told i could choose a present. i opted for a phone, the one in my place was so concussed that i cant hear any bloody dial tone.
jen talked abt mich going to switzerland in oct to learn culinary, the 4 of us went a long long way back since jul 98. we lived together, laughed, loved, annoyed, adored and hated each other, all at the same time. there r not many frens (i would almost consider these 3 as family) whom u can still have chemistry having not met for a long time. til now, whenever we met up, we still crack the same jokes, talked abt the same stories, gossiped abt the weird ppl we know. i dun think she will come back ever, she once asked in 06 wht i would attend her wedding in canada (cos its the only place at that time where they legalised same gender marriages) so i said of cos, where else would i wanna be?
anyway i bought a philips cordless phone and the funny thing is, u buy a phone, u get chicken essence FOC and a $30 philips voucher. i can understand the voucher part but not chicken essence. its like u buy hair wax and they give ya a tube of suger glue n a free bowl of laksa.
we talked abt sunday christians, monday sinners.
defined as ppl (im also guilty) who attend church on sundays, sing songs of praise, give tithes but when monday reverts, they are back to square one.
my DG mate once worked in a christian organisation and he was appalled by the hypocrisy he sees, so called christians colleagues r nastier than the non believers.
where is the love, respect, kindness, patience?
after morning prayers were over, the fangs came out. its u against me not us working for the gd of the organisation. he left after 2 months as he dint believe in ass kissing.
jen talked abt mich going to switzerland in oct to learn culinary, the 4 of us went a long long way back since jul 98. we lived together, laughed, loved, annoyed, adored and hated each other, all at the same time. there r not many frens (i would almost consider these 3 as family) whom u can still have chemistry having not met for a long time. til now, whenever we met up, we still crack the same jokes, talked abt the same stories, gossiped abt the weird ppl we know. i dun think she will come back ever, she once asked in 06 wht i would attend her wedding in canada (cos its the only place at that time where they legalised same gender marriages) so i said of cos, where else would i wanna be?
anyway i bought a philips cordless phone and the funny thing is, u buy a phone, u get chicken essence FOC and a $30 philips voucher. i can understand the voucher part but not chicken essence. its like u buy hair wax and they give ya a tube of suger glue n a free bowl of laksa.
we talked abt sunday christians, monday sinners.
defined as ppl (im also guilty) who attend church on sundays, sing songs of praise, give tithes but when monday reverts, they are back to square one.
my DG mate once worked in a christian organisation and he was appalled by the hypocrisy he sees, so called christians colleagues r nastier than the non believers.
where is the love, respect, kindness, patience?
after morning prayers were over, the fangs came out. its u against me not us working for the gd of the organisation. he left after 2 months as he dint believe in ass kissing.
72 hours
to J:
here is the bet:
no cussing for 72 hours in exchange for a meal at nydc.
u r on. the clock shall start ticking tomorrow.
sounds difficult for a foul mouthed sod like me but i know i can do it.
oh, think beautiful thoughts: thoughtful colleagues, easy projects, mindef calling, lots of kilkenny.
==================================
to J number 2:
thanx for being my 'number 1' fan. pls add more comments and critique my bad english. i somehow still detect subtle sarcasm but...nevermind...tat is what makes u, you. awwww.
here is the bet:
no cussing for 72 hours in exchange for a meal at nydc.
u r on. the clock shall start ticking tomorrow.
sounds difficult for a foul mouthed sod like me but i know i can do it.
oh, think beautiful thoughts: thoughtful colleagues, easy projects, mindef calling, lots of kilkenny.
==================================
to J number 2:
thanx for being my 'number 1' fan. pls add more comments and critique my bad english. i somehow still detect subtle sarcasm but...nevermind...tat is what makes u, you. awwww.
Monday, June 16, 2008
13:16
i was given a proverbs calendar* (thank u!) and interestingly the verse today is:
every prudent man dealeth with knowledge but a fool layeth open his folly.
something struck me: perhaps its time i should start/try/attempt to cut down on my expletive language n stop being so angsty. besides possibly stumbling the fella believers, i may unwittingly offend others ie my bosses or colleagues. the latter may had happened for all i know. those who know me know that i pepper my sentences with fcuk urself/wat the fcuk/motherfcuker/c*nt/c*cksucking idiot/bitchassmotherfcuker etc in fact, not surprisingly most of my fav movies contain explicit words: heh heh heh.
snatch, the departed, amercian history x, goodfellas, magnolia etc
the day i received the proverbs calendar, i hosted dinner for 3 lovely beautiful ladies. funnily, i found myself watching my language carefully cos i was terribly afraid i may blurt out something offensive.
* i would like to think its God reminding me He is in control., esp at the workplace. u know, u do ur work and occasionally u look up and see the verse for the day and u go, ah i can apply this to my everyday life. the Lord works in mysterious ways.
every prudent man dealeth with knowledge but a fool layeth open his folly.
something struck me: perhaps its time i should start/try/attempt to cut down on my expletive language n stop being so angsty. besides possibly stumbling the fella believers, i may unwittingly offend others ie my bosses or colleagues. the latter may had happened for all i know. those who know me know that i pepper my sentences with fcuk urself/wat the fcuk/motherfcuker/c*nt/c*cksucking idiot/bitchassmotherfcuker etc in fact, not surprisingly most of my fav movies contain explicit words: heh heh heh.
snatch, the departed, amercian history x, goodfellas, magnolia etc
the day i received the proverbs calendar, i hosted dinner for 3 lovely beautiful ladies. funnily, i found myself watching my language carefully cos i was terribly afraid i may blurt out something offensive.
* i would like to think its God reminding me He is in control., esp at the workplace. u know, u do ur work and occasionally u look up and see the verse for the day and u go, ah i can apply this to my everyday life. the Lord works in mysterious ways.
south street, o'connor
ed and Ja left 4 perth abt 3 weeks ago, when i went for their farewell bbq party i asked him what would be the thing that he would miss abt this place.
without battling an eye lid he said nothing.
he is happily now either fishing or chilling out at home while ja has gone to the 'dark side' and decided to work for the enemy, curtin uni.
one snort. two snorts. threee snorts.
think of red rooster, think of chicken treat, think of fremantle fush n chups, think of somerville palace restaurant, think of......i think u get it.
anyway, i hope they are happy. i pray that God will look over them n keep them safe. its not easy to restart and uproot yr lives again aft returning but i know they are not satisfied living here. i totally understand: there is something fundamentally wrong with this place but i cant quite put a finger to it. is it the culture? the rudeness? the costs of living? the oppression? we have not been v close since we returned in 2001, each has his own life but nevertheless i was honored when he asked me to be his bestman.
now that he is 5000 miles away i wished i had spent a lil more time with him b4 he left. though we did manage to lunch at swiss culture for the final time, the damn wings were outta stock.
i couldnt go to see him off, first reason was work, that wk was horrid, secondly; i am not gd at saying goodbyes. most prob i will end up saying tata with salt water streaming down my face.
without battling an eye lid he said nothing.
he is happily now either fishing or chilling out at home while ja has gone to the 'dark side' and decided to work for the enemy, curtin uni.
one snort. two snorts. threee snorts.
think of red rooster, think of chicken treat, think of fremantle fush n chups, think of somerville palace restaurant, think of......i think u get it.
anyway, i hope they are happy. i pray that God will look over them n keep them safe. its not easy to restart and uproot yr lives again aft returning but i know they are not satisfied living here. i totally understand: there is something fundamentally wrong with this place but i cant quite put a finger to it. is it the culture? the rudeness? the costs of living? the oppression? we have not been v close since we returned in 2001, each has his own life but nevertheless i was honored when he asked me to be his bestman.
now that he is 5000 miles away i wished i had spent a lil more time with him b4 he left. though we did manage to lunch at swiss culture for the final time, the damn wings were outta stock.
i couldnt go to see him off, first reason was work, that wk was horrid, secondly; i am not gd at saying goodbyes. most prob i will end up saying tata with salt water streaming down my face.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
sometimes when u wanna look 4 the guilty party, all u need to do is to look into the mirror
sometimes i think maybe its my face, or unless my interviewers feel i can be their PT agony aunt, i dunno why they like to ring me and tell me their personal R/S problems.
which brings me 2 rule 1: never give out ur hp easily
i suspect that many people like to be tortured emotionally, they get caught in the lousiest relationship with a dick/bitch for a partner (who obviously dun care abt u/is sleeping with someone else) and all they did was to whine n whine some more, so i would go: why not break up n walk away? why r u still doing these 2 yrselves?
they can justify and internalise and rationalise the partner's behaviour and come up with a thousand reasons. look, i dun care how good they were in the past, but if u r gonna continue thinking one day they would change, u r gravely mistaken sweetie.
investing the past 3/4/5 yrs of yr time/effort/emotions doesnt equate to hanging on for the sake of hanging on.
n i may as well tell u in ur face: hope will fcuk u up in the end. it always has.
i dun quite fathom how relatively smart, attractive ppl r slaves to such destructive relationships.
woe behold to those who like to add: i cant be alone etc i need to be with someone. what rubbish is that? if u cant be happy by yrself, what makes u think u can make others happy?
guys: dun use great sex as an excuse, i heard it a thousand times. look what it did to fcukface.
gals: dun use yr bodies to keep him, u can do beta. there r actually decent guys out there, if u look hard enuff.
which brings me 2 rule 1: never give out ur hp easily
i suspect that many people like to be tortured emotionally, they get caught in the lousiest relationship with a dick/bitch for a partner (who obviously dun care abt u/is sleeping with someone else) and all they did was to whine n whine some more, so i would go: why not break up n walk away? why r u still doing these 2 yrselves?
they can justify and internalise and rationalise the partner's behaviour and come up with a thousand reasons. look, i dun care how good they were in the past, but if u r gonna continue thinking one day they would change, u r gravely mistaken sweetie.
investing the past 3/4/5 yrs of yr time/effort/emotions doesnt equate to hanging on for the sake of hanging on.
n i may as well tell u in ur face: hope will fcuk u up in the end. it always has.
i dun quite fathom how relatively smart, attractive ppl r slaves to such destructive relationships.
woe behold to those who like to add: i cant be alone etc i need to be with someone. what rubbish is that? if u cant be happy by yrself, what makes u think u can make others happy?
guys: dun use great sex as an excuse, i heard it a thousand times. look what it did to fcukface.
gals: dun use yr bodies to keep him, u can do beta. there r actually decent guys out there, if u look hard enuff.
if u already know, why do u still ask?
dear lord,
i know i have not been v disciplined in going to yr house on sunday mornings, i know i shouldnt blame it on the RT but sometimes i admit i was too lazy to go listen to yr word.
please cast yr divine intervention and allow the examiner to look at my test script with supernatural leniency, cos i really hope and wish i would receive a call this wk. please let it not be the dreaded email.
i dun have much brains, but i would like to think u were by my side during that monday, guiding with yr outta-this-world wisdom. honestly i felt like my life has been shortened by a few yrs after i stepped out of the room. i was reeling slightly.
nothing i do could make things any beta, except u. u know how much i find the things here increasing loathesome.
pls help me, amen
fortune favours the brave
4 days just went by so fast so i found myself, as usual, reluctant to wake up today for work. i slowly took my time to shower, eat n drag my ass down to the bus stop. i guessed i was not alone, i saw a 'regular' while waiting for my bus, she looked as if she was going to a funeral.
that's what mondays and a long break could do 2 u.
thurs:
had a fabulous lunch at molly malones with Fag, its great getting stoned b4 2pm. try it.
watched the Happening; it was crap, so crap so i decided to cross M Night Shymalan from the list of my fav directors
went library: borrowed 4 books
reached home: napped and blasted yellowcard while reading n having a cuppa
had dinner with W
Friday:
Jan bought me lunch at NYNY, thanks so much. i still cant forget what u said when we were queuing up at the supermart.
its something that i tot guys would say but then....oh well.....how come u can read my tots so well?
p/s: im saving up 4 yr red packet. really.
sat:
oh the lunch at patara was so awesome that i could still taste the crab curry, the steamed sea bass drenched in minced garlic and chili flakes and the pan fried cod with basil leaves.
www.patara.com.sg
the company was great, which i supposed made the food more delectable. i left the place giggling like a school girl. the alacarte buffet lunch was worth every single cent.
i was touched by my interviewers who bought me lunch at apollos on wed and the kiddo who ordered pizzas for me but unfortunately i was still on leave, bless their kind hearts.
& not forgetting the rest who texted me and reminded me that i am a teenager trapped in a 30s something body.
true?
true. every word of it.
4 days just went by so fast so i found myself, as usual, reluctant to wake up today for work. i slowly took my time to shower, eat n drag my ass down to the bus stop. i guessed i was not alone, i saw a 'regular' while waiting for my bus, she looked as if she was going to a funeral.
that's what mondays and a long break could do 2 u.
thurs:
had a fabulous lunch at molly malones with Fag, its great getting stoned b4 2pm. try it.
watched the Happening; it was crap, so crap so i decided to cross M Night Shymalan from the list of my fav directors
went library: borrowed 4 books
reached home: napped and blasted yellowcard while reading n having a cuppa
had dinner with W
Friday:
Jan bought me lunch at NYNY, thanks so much. i still cant forget what u said when we were queuing up at the supermart.
its something that i tot guys would say but then....oh well.....how come u can read my tots so well?
p/s: im saving up 4 yr red packet. really.
sat:
oh the lunch at patara was so awesome that i could still taste the crab curry, the steamed sea bass drenched in minced garlic and chili flakes and the pan fried cod with basil leaves.
www.patara.com.sg
the company was great, which i supposed made the food more delectable. i left the place giggling like a school girl. the alacarte buffet lunch was worth every single cent.
i was touched by my interviewers who bought me lunch at apollos on wed and the kiddo who ordered pizzas for me but unfortunately i was still on leave, bless their kind hearts.
& not forgetting the rest who texted me and reminded me that i am a teenager trapped in a 30s something body.
true?
true. every word of it.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
resurrection
last day of summer, first day of fall
friday the 13th, i had a great lunch with Jan. admittedly our conversation was peppered with crap, nonsensical tots but hey what i suggested earlier may not be that unreal in the future.
i will be the damn chicky mascot, bring me the gravy!
friday the 13th, i had a great lunch with Jan. admittedly our conversation was peppered with crap, nonsensical tots but hey what i suggested earlier may not be that unreal in the future.
i will be the damn chicky mascot, bring me the gravy!
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